From Days Past

I can remember when I was 12 or 13, I was hanging out with a friend a couple blocks from my house when it started to drizzle. I booked it home to avoid getting drenched as it quickly started to really come down. As I was sprinting home, I could feel the rain pelting my head and shoulders. Then all of a sudden it stopped, and so did I. I turned my palms and face up to the sky, but felt nothing; no rain. Kind of confused, I turned around and looked across the street from where I had just run. To my shock and amazement, not 10 feet from where I stood, it was raining like a Thai Monsoon; literally a wall of precipitation. I walked to the edge of the downpour and stuck my hand in it to make sure it was real. It was, and it was really bizarre. I had never seen anything like it before or since. It only lasted for about 20 seconds before it began to rain on me, as well. I walked home soaked, but in a daze. Even at that age, I knew that I had just witnessed something extremely special.

Death of a Salesman? Is this the Beginning of the End for Mike "The Situation"?

Is the Jersey Shore's megalomaniac and unabashed, self-promoting, Mike "The Situation" out of control? Is the limelight going to his head and the pressures of being a national celebrity finally taking a toll on his sanity? Are the producers at MTV, in hopes of continued high viewership, stoking the drama fire to keep the Sitch's behavior at sensational levels? Were the MTV editors just being creative with the footage they showed up until now? Or, is the Situation just being himself and, now, being unrestricted (and a lot of time lauded for his outrageous behavior) just letting his true colors shine through? In truth, it's probably a little bit of all these things and a whole bunch more. Whatever the case, though The Situation believes himself to be the glue holding this gang of Guidos together, he has, in fact, had his tiffs with each of the 7 other housemates (with perhaps the exception of Paulie D.)

A very quick breakdown of The Situation's run-ins with his fist-pumping housemates:

Angelina - despite spotty reports of off-season hook-ups with The Situation, there was no love lost between the two when she returned on the second season. Repeatedly clashing with Angelina and coming up with some of the most hilariously demeaning insults (including calling her a hamster and giving her the moniker, "Trash Bags") Mike was instrumental in her finally packing up and leaving the show (again.)

Sammi & Roni - although initially infatuated with each other, when Sammi chooses Roni over him despite a shared kiss, The Situation, begins to bump heads with the couple. It never comes to blows with Roni, but given Roni's temper, Mike, out of self-preservation, probably made a calculated decision to move on to easier game (and I don't blame him. Roni's "roid rage" was kinda scary.)

Snooki - Even though they seem pretty tight. Snooki has grown increasingly more comfortable in her own skin and is starting to shirk the dominion that Mike tries to enforce over her and the rest of the house. In last night's episode, the two of them went at it two nights in a row with Mike shockingly slapping her for not wanting to leave the instant he did.

Vinny - Part of the MVP (Mike, Vinny and Paulie) Vinny has played a back seat in screen time to his more famous and gregarious partners. However, on numerous occasions, Mike has been guilty of pursuing girls that Vinny has shown interest in or already kissed (which is the Guido equivalent of dating; sex being the equivalent of marriage.) Going as far as "committing robbery" on Vinny with a tipsy clubber Vinny kissed only moments before him (classy, right?) And because the first time worked, Mike thought he'd try it again in last night's episode with Vinny' new girl with whom they both seemed to be infatuated.

JWOW - Their strong personalities have led them also to clash heads often, culminating in Jwow actually punching Mike in the face during the 1st season. There is definitely a bubbling hostility brewing just below JWOW's surface and her tendency to solve problems with her fist instead of brain has all the trapping of another big blow out with him.

DJ Paulie D - Despite being The Sitch's GTL partner in crime and the third member of MVP, Paulie has admitted that his friend has grown increasingly aggressive and impatient as of late. And while, Paulie thinks Mike's brash behavior only makes him look more of nice guy in comparison. It's not certain how long the laid-back DJ can continue to overlook his friend's antics.

With an estimated $5 Million (yes, million) coming in from endorsements, public appearances and television, it's hardly all doom and gloom for the man known as The Situation. However, the American people can be fickle (just ask Myspace or HD-DVD) and the corporate money train will come to a halt with a quickness, should he lose the hearts (and I would say minds, but this IS The Jersey Shore, afterall) of the viewing public. So, if you find yourself shirtless and alone at 2am this time next year getting dissed by even the "grenades" you love to shun, you'll only have yourself and your own ego-mania to blame. Michael, you've been warned, and that's the real situation.

Please, Someone Shoot Sarah Silverman in the Face

I was going to write a blog detailing my impressions of her stand-up comedy skills and overall comedic, world-view...but it seems my title already summed it up perfectly

If you're Slovenian (or a Mali ref,) I hate you so much right now

But...you had some help...queue Referee Koman Coulibaly of Mali (who is refereeing his first, hopefully last, World Cup game) who added his unique stamp to the hearts and minds of all US soccer fans. Even as U.S. players enveloped him with bodies and pleading for an explanation, Coulibaly kept his trap snapped firmly shut which is (ridiculously) his right under FIFA rules.

In the US/Slovenia match, a deep schism became clearly apparent...this is not [American] football, where officials make microphone-enhanced calls to the viewing audience, neither is it basketball nor hockey where hand signals betray each trip, slash and charging penalty. It's not even the case where a manager can come out on field and argue with the umpire as in baseball. In the soccer (with FIFA's blessing) a ref is king of his kingdom and beholden to no man, woman or pissed-off footballer. For once, it's America, with its sometimes non-sensical sports like football (at least in name) where the use of a player's foot is only ever so often required which seems to make perfect sense when weighed against the practices of soccer's internationally-governing body, FIFA.

However, the football travesty of the US/Slovenia match is having a galvanizing effect on US soccer fans. We've been wronged, and for the first time, casual soccer fans now have a reason to watch (and cheer for) our nation's team in the World Cup. 

I Gotta Feeling

Watching the Black-Eyed Peas performing for the World Cup Kick-off Celebration concert...they are literally the musical equivalent of Monet. So pretty from afar as they are adept at creating catchy hooks and beats, but upon closer inspection possess lyrics about as substantive as the contents of a hot-air balloon...plus...their outfits are just silly.

Can't Wait for Verizon to Get the iPhone so I can Ditch my Blackberry

+=

So, I have a Blackberry Tour and a Macbook Pro. On the surface, this pairing seems normal enough...unless you try to back-up, integrate or use both together in any way whatsoever. Apparently, RIM, Blackberry's parent company, doesn't think too much of (or about) its Mac customers. Not only do we get a watered-down version of Blackberry's Desktop Manager, but the features that are included, haphazardly work. Case in point, I tried to update my software through the Desktop Manager and encountered...

I tried taking the battery out and reload it...nothing. Tried to reconnect my blackberry to my computer and my Mac didn't even recognize it. That inconspicuously small icon basically means that your Blackberry no longer has an Operating System (OS) installed. Which in layman's terms means..."Yo blackberry don't work no mo'."

So, after a good deal of pointed expletives, overcoming numerous temptations to call blackberry and tell them where to stick their stoopid Mac Desktop Manager and then some frantic "googling" I found a fix...and since many of you are cursed with this dynamically flimsy, technology duo, as well, I thought I'd post the solution in case you ran into the same problem with your Blackberry. 

Here are the steps to recover and upload your new OS:

-Start Blackberry Desktop Manager
-In the Window Menu open the log window
-Connect your cable to your Blackberry first and then connect to the other end to your mac
-Now you should see some log lines starting to appear until they repeat showing "Throwing Unsupported Device....." It will loop about 20 to 25 times, then, the Desktop Manager will recognize that it needs to upload the OS on the device and suddenly you will get the window to choose which OS to load. Make sure the battery is in the blackberry otherwise it won't be able to recognize the device PIN.

Be warned, I still lost all my downloaded apps, as well as, my notes, tasks and password keeper. Serves me right, I guess when it comes to storing infomation, my smartphone ain't so smart, after all. It seems Einstein was right again: intelliegence and memory aren't causally related (Albert was a notoriously bad speller, even held back in school because of it.)

Couldn't Have Said it Better...So I didn't Even Try

To My Fellow Citizens, the Republicans:

Thanks to last night's vote, that child of yours who has had asthma since birth will now be covered after suffering for her first nine years as an American child with a pre-existing condition.

Thanks to last night's vote, that 23-year-old of yours who will be hit one day by a drunk driver and spend six months recovering in the hospital will now not go bankrupt because you will be able to keep him on your insurance policy.

Thanks to last night's vote, after your cancer returns for the third time -- racking up another $200,000 in costs to keep you alive -- your insurance company will have to commit a criminal act if they even think of dropping you from their rolls.

Yes, my Republican friends, even though you have opposed this health care bill, we've made sure it is going to cover you, too, in your time of need. I know you're upset right now. I know you probably think that if you did get wiped out by an illness, or thrown out of your home because of a medical bankruptcy, that you would somehow pull yourself up by your bootstraps and survive. I know that's a comforting story to tell yourself, and if John Wayne were still alive I'm sure he could make that into a movie for you.

But the reality is that these health insurance companies have only one mission: To take as much money from you as they can -- and then work like demons to deny you whatever coverage and help they can should you get sick.

So, when you find yourself suddenly broadsided by a life-threatening illness someday, perhaps you'll thank those pinko-socialist, Canadian-loving Democrats and independents for what they did Sunday evening.

If it's any consolation, the thieves who run the health insurance companies will still get to deny coverage to adults with pre-existing conditions for the next four years. They'll also get to cap an individual's annual health care reimbursements for the next four years. And if they break the pre-existing ban that was passed last night, they'll only be fined $100 a day! And, the best part? The law will require all citizens who aren't poor or old to write a check to a private insurance company. It's truly a banner day for these corporations.

So don't feel too bad. We're a long way from universal health care. Over 15 million Americans will still be uncovered -- and that means about 15,000 will still lose their lives each year because they won't be able to afford to see a doctor or get an operation. But another 30,000 will live. I hope that's ok with you.

If you don't mind, we're now going to get busy trying to improve upon this bill so that all Americans are covered and so the grubby health insurance companies will be put out of business -- because when it comes to helping the sick, no one should ever be allowed to ask the question, "How much money can we save by making this poor bastard suffer?"

Please, my Republican friends, if you can, take a quiet moment away from your AM radio and cable news network this morning and be happy for your country. We're doing better. And we're doing it for you, too.

Yours,
Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
MichaelMoore.com

So I Finally Saw Avatar...

...and I'm a bit torn. On the one hand, it was a visual smorgasborg of 3-D colors, effects and beautiful imagery, but on the other, it was an extremely predictable story that had me thinking this is Pocahontas, no wait, Star Wars, no wait, Dances with Wolves, no wait...

Now, putting aside my initial opinions of the film, should this movie be heralded as an enormous success for film? Yes definitely. Any flick that rakes in $700+B is most certainly a success. There's no doubt that Alice in Wonderland would not have had a $130+M opening weekend had Avatar not opened the 3-D IMAX door. BUT, should ticket sales determine the quality of a film? The Oscars didn't think so...and nor do I.

Oscar Shows His Sensitive Side

Is it just me or is the Oscars getting a little bit overly sentimental? There are definitely times in Oscar's past that he's been a little softie (i.e. Halle Berry, Denzel Washington, 3 6 Mafia...jk) but yesterday's winners just didn't ring true. Both in choice and acceptance speeches, last night was definitely off the mark, sincerity-wise.

Jeff Bridges' performance of a down-and-almost-out country western singer turned alcoholic battling life's demons was a great one. Unfortunately, it was lost among the empty beer cans of a watch-the-paint-dry kind of film. Still, probably the most deserving of an Oscar, this swan-song opportunity for Bridges was sadly marred by a horribly long-winded acceptance speech that made it hard to feel really good about him winning. The speech began interestingly enough with parental remembrances from yesteryear, and for a second, it seemed as if it was leading us to a rare glimpse into the formation of an acting genius...but alas, no. Instead, the usual litany of thank you's and political massages followed the disjointed beginning. I guess he got caught up in the moment of his own self-congratulation.

Maybe we should have a new Oscar acceptance rule: No thanking people we (the people) have never actually heard of...oh and #2: No thanking agents unless you're sleeping with them!

Sandra Bullock (uh, hellloooo!) Talk about a Blindside! Sandra Bullock is NOT a good actress. Not unless she's really a classically trained virtuoso pianist and highborn, English duchess in disguise. She's the same in every role she's ever played (goofy, yet kinda cute, take-no-BS-everywoman.) Just because she's in a tear-jerker biopic recounting the struggle to overcome awful circumstances by an underprivileged black kid shouldn't automatically equal an Oscar nod...didn't we already have one of those this year, anyways? Yes we did, and that nicely segues into…

Mo'Nique. And I deliberately did NOT look up the correct spelling (or capitalization) of her name, because "if you're gonna give yourself a name with silly spelling, ya better get used to having people misspell it." Now, while her acceptance speech was well-delivered, I saw Precious…and to be honest, I was a little surprised at the film's inclusion with the year's best. Raw and shocking, definitely...well-composed and engaging, not so much (though it did have one of film's worst "ulgy-fications" by way of Mariah Carey as the dowdy social worker.)

I am only slightly happier at Hurt Locker's Oscar house-cleaning (as it should, fantastic film) than shocked at Stanley Tucci's loss and perplexed by the oddball behavior (which seemed more than slightly, chemically altered) of Locker's helmsman (or more appropriately, helms-woman,) Kathryn Bigelow...wow. Go easy on the pharmaceuticals, darling. I hope it was just the shock of soundly beating Avatar on [almost] all fronts that led to her bizarre demeanor and rambling, stiff-armed-bug-eyed speeches.

All in all, this year's Oscars seemed a little flat, a little too nice, a little too appropriate. Lost from the presentation was the love and majesty of film and the prize of acknowledgement for the best of the bunch by the industry's elite. This year wasn't packed with power punch performances (God, it was hard not to put plethora at the head of that alliteration) to be sure, but there's something so disagreeable about rewarding the best of a bad lot (I wonder if this is how Bank America feels every year around bonus time.)

Where Do You Lie???

This book was recommmended to me, and after some research on it, I'm genuinely excited. Has anyone else read it? If so, let me know your thoughts!

America's GNP...lil Rush Limbaughs

America's new national export... prepubescent conservatism. Woo hoo. Touted as the next Rush Limbaugh, 14 yr old Jonathan Krohn may indeed be the new face of neo-conservatism.

Now, brushing aside the obvious political banter, I am not interested (in this post, at least) in pushing some political agenda. On the contrary, I find the far more interesting side of the story to be our nation's preoccupation with youth and the political fostering of this home schooled child. It's a little sad when the betterment of society misses out on a superior mind. And while there are a million valid reasons (at least to the people who make them) for the societal value of politics and political theory, its only real, intrinsic value comes through its social commentary; a snapshot of our current public state-of-mind. It does NOT improve it however. At the heart of politics is an extremely complicated set of practices and institutions bent on reorganizing, reinforcing, or maintaining balances of power, and the pursuit of the best practices and control over the most influential institutions is [by far] more of an American pastime than baseball ever was.

I also find it mildly ironic that the majority of this child's life is spent in pursuit of an arena of society which he can only tangentially affect (although, some would argue that speaking at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) is much more than a tangentially influential affectation.)

Never Get Pinched for a DUI Again!

I've been reading this fascinating new book, Eating the Dinosaur by Chuck Klosterman. It's definitely a departure from the books I normally digest with topics schizophrenically bouncing from time travel to truth in advertising, but nestled among the intellectual [albeit done well] posturing, there is a chapter appropriately entitled, "The Best Response." Within that brief chapter, I happened on to this...

The best response to a police officer who's just asked the question "Have you been drinking tonight?"

"That's a great question, and I totally understand why you're asking it. I can see where you're coming from, sir. I realize my behavior seems a little erratic. I smell vaguely of alcohol, I'm in a motor vehicle, and it's three o'clock in the morning. It's a unique circumstance. But I'm not intoxicated. I'm distraught. I'm a hyper-emotional person who can't accept the inherent unfairness of the universe. Have you ever read Arthur Schopenhauer? You know, that dead German pessimist? He once said that the vanity of existence is revealed in the form that existence assumes: in the infiniteness of time and space contrasted with the finiteness of the individual in both; in the fleeting present as the sole form in which actuality exists; in the contingency and relativity of all things; in continual becoming without being; in continual desire without satisfaction; in the continual frustration of striving of which life consists. Crazy, right? i don't really get what he's saying. But I do know this, officer: That's how I feel all the time. And to make matters worse, I'm an insomniac. I haven't slept more than two hours in any given night since I was sixteen. that's why I'm awake right now, wandering the roadways of quasi-reality, living my wretched, vampiric existence. I suppose you could say I was suicidal, but too depressed to kill myself. And then, when I saw the rolling blue lights of your squad car in my rearview mirror, I realized that nothing I could say or do would reflect positively on my condition. The game was over. I've lost. Why fight it? I pulled over to the side of the road, depressing the parking brake, turned off my vehicle, and imbibed one full shot of Bombay gin, which I happen to keep in the glove box of my car, precisely for this type of situation. That is the alcohol you smell. in fact, it's still coating the inside of my mouth. Which also means that if you give me a Breathalyzer right now, the remnants of the alcohol will still be there, so I'll fail the test, even though I'm not intoxicated. So-- to answer your original question -- yes. I have been drinking. I've had exactly one drink tonight, thirty seconds ago, in response to the hopelessness of existence. Do I still need a lawyer?"

Please Tell Me WTF this Guy's Problem is...or does he really have a point?

After a lackluster career in the NBA and abroad totalling 13 professional teams, Paul Shirley, has taken a break from pounding the parquet to...pounding on the Haitian people.

Directly from his column:

"I haven’t donated to the Haitian relief effort for the same reason that I don't give money to homeless men on the street..." "Based on past experiences, I don't think the guy with the sign that reads 'Need You're Help' is going to do anything constructive with the dollar I might give him. If I use history as my guide, I don't think the people of Haiti will do much with my money either." (At least he waited for an appropriate time to roll out his economic and humanitarian analyses.)

But if Shirley's personal anecdotes should fall on deaf ears, he also parlayed his apathy directly to the Haitian people:

"Dear Haitians," he begins, "First of all, kudos on developing the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Your commitment to human rights, infrastructure, and birth control should be applauded.


"As we prepare to assist you in this difficult time, a polite request: If it’s possible, could you not re-build your island home in the image of its predecessor? Could you not resort to the creation of flimsy shanty- and shack-towns? And could some of you maybe use a condom once in a while?"

And to show that he wasn't biased towards only impoverished and down-trodden foreigners, Shirley gives his two cents on our own country's recent natural disaster:

"We did the same after Hurricane Katrina," he writes. "We were quick to vilify humans who were too slow to respond to the needs of victims, forgetting that the victims had built and maintained a major city below sea level in a known target zone for hurricanes. Our response: Make the same mistake again. Rebuild a doomed city, putting aside logic as we did."

...wow, is this guy a polymath or what?

Coincedentally, Shirley has been informed that his freelance writing skills are no longer required at ESPN. Unlike both Katrina and the recent earthquake in Haiti, we could see that one coming a long way off.

And the People have Spoken...

Here are the two arguments (from the ones that I received - thank you everyone) regarding the same-sex marriage debate:

FOR:

I am a gay woman legally married to my wife Tonya in the state of California. We were married on 10/08 when it was legal to do so and remain legally married in the state of California today. Together since 2002, we were able to get married because we FINALLY could; it felt amazing to be able to do so legally in front of our family and friends.

I want to share a few examples why we would like to see gay marriage federally recognized, this goes beyond California and needs to change nationally for everybody. Many people think gay couples already have access to the same rights as straight couples, but this is simply not true.

After our wedding and ruling that we were still married even with Prop 8 passing, I was excited to have Tonya see about adding me to her insurance policy at work as her "legal spouse". What we learned is that the IRS federally mandates the rules regarding benefit plans. As the federal government does not recognize same sex marriage, I can only be considered Tonya's "domestic partner" regardless of the fact that we are "legally" married in California. (We filed for domestic partnerships years ago. We also paid a lawyer nearly $4000 a few years ago to write up wills, power of attys, etc. etc. to try and protect one another legally "just in case". If our marriage was federally recognized, none of this would be necessary; we would have those rights automatically. Imagine your “domestic partner” is sick and you rush to the hospital without your power of attorney documents and you are denied access to your domestic partner’s room. Does this seem “the same” as marriage? If you think this does not happen to gay “domestic partner” couples in the U.S., you are 100% wrong.)

The difference is that Tonya can add me to her policy "after taxes" on her paycheck as a registered domestic partner. As a legally married gay couple in California, we get the pleasure of "paying more" just because we are gay, this is unfair and wrong.

Legally, gay couples cannot file joint federal tax returns, we cannot be "next of kin" in the hospital UNLESS we have legal papers drawn up and show "proof" we have a right to be there. There are many many more examples. All of this is VERY frustrating! Tonya and I are "legally" marriage in California, we want “the same” rights as married couples vs. legal federal discrimination.

An amazing speech that Patricia Clarkson gave in June 2009. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/patricia-clarkson/heres-to-the-violets-my-t_b_215383.html
 
AGAINST:

"The implications for children in a world of decaying families are profound. A recent article in the Weekly Standard described how the advent of legally sanctioned gay unions in Scandinavian countries has already destroyed the institution of marriage, where half of today's children are born out of wedlock.


It is predicted now, based on demographic trends in this country, that more than half of the babies born in the 1990s will spend at least part of their childhood in single-parent homes.
Social scientists have been surprisingly consistent in warning against this fractured family. If it continues, almost every child will have several "moms" and "dads," perhaps six or eight "grandparents," and dozens of half-siblings. It will be a world where little boys and girls are shuffled from pillar to post in an ever-changing pattern of living arrangements-where huge numbers of them will be raised in foster-care homes or living on the street (as millions do in other countries all over the world today). Imagine an environment where nothing is stable and where people think primarily about themselves and their own self-preservation.

The apostle Paul described a similar society in Romans 1, which addressed the epidemic of homosexuality that was rampant in the ancient world and especially in Rome at that time. He wrote, "They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless" (v. 29-31, NIV).


It appears likely now that the demise of families will accelerate this type of decline dramatically, resulting in a chaotic culture that will be devastating to children." Excerpt from http://www.nogaymarriage.com/tenarguments.asp

What a Week It's Been

Thank you to everyone that has been sending thoughts, arguments and questions on the topical issue of same-sex marriage. I have been going over submissions as well as working on my own, unfortuantely with the devesating Earthquake in Hiati, much of my attention (and my friends') has been focused elsewhere. Don't fret, my patient followers. I will post my findings soon. I think this same-sex marriage debate is the equal rights issue of our day. And again, I thank you for all your passionate depositions of your 2 cents.

On a side note, if by chance, you are looking to donate to the Haitian relief funds, please be careful. There are a host of scams and degenerate swindlers lurking among the shadows of the web. Stay with bigger and well-established companies like the http://www.redcross.org/ (or if you know of any reputable ones, please post) even if you've been blessed with an "official" letter from a disenfranchised Haitian relative of a Ugandan prince trying to regain access to his $50 Million trust fund that only your $2K can secure...he'll never get me again....kidding  :p

Should We All Suffer Equally??

I am, in the wake of the socially-monumental, same-sex marriage vote (re: prop 8,) pushing the controversial envelope with an open (and respectful) forum to discuss this incendiary issue. I intend to posit the best arguments on BOTH sides (and welcome feedback from you). While some may question which arguments qualify as best, or if there are really any good arguments by the opposition (whichever side of the fence you mow,) I will take only one from each. The decision will be totally subjective, but I do have my moments of serene objectivity and lucid decision-making (mind you, this comes from the same noodle that thought taking apart all the clocks in my house and putting them back together was a reasonable afternoon activity for a bored 8 yr old, but I digress)

Over the next week, as I try to round up the good, the bad and the ugly points-of-view from each lobbying group, please let me know what YOUR opinion is. I promise I will read, digest and respond to all comers (not the biggest feat considering I only have 27 followers, but still, it's the thought that counts.) I also promise that if you come up with a better argument than my own or any I've found, I will give you full credit, a chocolate chip cookie, a gold star, my favorite tee-shirt, and wash your car. If that's not enough, you'll of course have the honor of being exhalted by the 27 coolest people on the planet. How can you say no to that??

Problem Following Blog

I am aware of the login issue with "following" from redirected gmail accounts (among others.) I'm looking into a solution and will post asap. If anybody has figured it out please post a comment. Thanks!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

UPDATE:

I'll organize this better later, but I wanted to put out a few basic requirements to follow (google glitches aside.)

1. Locate the "follow" button on the right-hand side of the screen (it sometimes appears at the very top on the left as a link, but it's more fickle than my grandma.)
2. You must have a valid and direct gmail, yahoo or twitter account to register to follow. What this means is that redirected email accounts aren't working [if John's email is john@johndoe.org but it redirects to a gmail account like johndoe100000@gmail.com, John must use the actual gmail account login NOT the johndoe.org login.]
3. To avoid problems, sign out of your google, yahoo or twitter account BEFORE clicking the "follow" button on the right.
4. Also, sometimes google automatically provides you with a gmail account login. If this login is old or not yours, click on the "sign in with a different user" link just below the login and password fields.
5. If you don't sign out, use a redirected blog or sign in with your current gmail account, you could run into an issue like this:

I'm following Browe's blog privately b/c I couldn't figure out how to

follow with updated information...it's using my profile from two years

ago! Random, but I will be able to follow which is the point. xoxo

If you are experiencing a unique issue please email me directly and I will do my best to fix. I hope this helps!!

2ND UPDATE:

I removed a couple options from the blog to cut down on any coding conflicts within it. I am hoping this results in an easier following experience. The blogger simply has kinks in it, but it's free (so, I'm trying very hard to resist the urge to complain.)

Again, thank you everyone for your interest in joining.

I Have Achieved Greatness...Kinda

Thanks to Big D (nobody calls him that,) I'm officially in double digits with my blog followers!

The prize (don't get your hopes up, you ain't gettin' crap) goes to Danyel Clark, as he actually became the 10th person (and NO relatives...though my girlfriend is on there - thanks Jen!) A great friend and an even better human (than I).

It seems like only yesterday I was courting my first follower *sniff*

I'm not going to make a big deal out of this moment *sniff sniff*

I think I'm capable of quickly taking a simple (albeit, self-congratulatory) moment

...and I'm done.

"Everybody loves me. Babies, dogs, hot girls, cougars."

I feel like MTV's new show, Jersey Shore, simply cannot escape discussion. Not since Jerry Springer has debauchery, idiocy and random violence been so fabulously celebrated on the boob tube in one neat and entertaining forum. Vinny, Paulie, Ronnie, Sammie, Jwow, Snookie, Angelina, and last, but certainly not least, Mike "The Situation" are a delightful train wreck; a sinful indulgence and shocking view into the newly-blossoming branch of the dysfunctional, American-reality-TV-show, family tree.

For those of you who have not been blessed with this shockumentary experience, Jersey Shore pits 8 self-proclaimed "guidos and guidettes" (whatever that really means) in a Real World-type environment. The housemates are required to work shifts in the landlord's T-shirt shop in return for free rent (and national infamy,) but get the rest of the time to style their gelled-up hair (I've never seen someone actually use an entire bottle of hair gel in a single session) get drunk and start fights (what more could a guido ask for?) What eventually ensues from this cookie-cutter, MTV set-up is more than even the most sinister TV exec could conjure up in his wildest and most wicked of dreams.

Whilst there are numerous viewing gems to be discovered in Jersey Shore, I especially enjoyed the step by step "guido dance lesson" or as Paulie D and Ronnie so eloquently put it: "beatin' up that beat" (though, the floor-slapping, spasmodic hip-gyrations and fist-pumping resembled more an African Anteater Ritual than actual dancing.) I think, however, one of the most iconic sound bites from this already legendary series comes from the show's only (as of yet) evictee, Angelina. When pressed on why she refuses to go in to work she retorts, in all honesty mind you, "I feel this job is beneath me. I'm a bartender. I do great things." We know you do, Angelina. Many a life has been saved by your deftly concocted Appletinis. How late is Applebee's open again?

But more importantly than its outlandish characters, however, is the show's focus on educating the glass-eyed, TV-obsessed, teenage masses…because at the end of the day, Jersey Shore is not simply another sensationalistic exploitation of America's underbelly, but a modern Lyceum, the likes of which even Aristotle would be proud. Where else could I say that I learned how to use a whole bottle of hair gel to style a frickin' sweet blowout, or how to simultaneously (and smoothly - thanks Situation) swap chicks that aren't "digging the hot tub" with some appropriately intoxicated skanks who are? I learned that a giant stenciled Cadillac emblem on your living room wall can only be outdone by one tattooed on your wicked-hot bod (nice one, DJ Paulie D.) And of course, (nimbly tying in the theme of education) I learned that NYC school teachers will hit a bitch if she mouths off too much.

Ladies and Gentlemen...The Jersey Shore.

The Single Most Important Question of this New Year

How are we to pronounce 2010? Is it the chic "twenty ten", the lavish "two thousand ten" or the minimalistic "10"? It seems that this is the burning question in offices, coffee shops and elevators nationwide. Bravo America for keeping the sophistication of social discourse running at peak performance.