Couldn't Have Said it Better...So I didn't Even Try

To My Fellow Citizens, the Republicans:

Thanks to last night's vote, that child of yours who has had asthma since birth will now be covered after suffering for her first nine years as an American child with a pre-existing condition.

Thanks to last night's vote, that 23-year-old of yours who will be hit one day by a drunk driver and spend six months recovering in the hospital will now not go bankrupt because you will be able to keep him on your insurance policy.

Thanks to last night's vote, after your cancer returns for the third time -- racking up another $200,000 in costs to keep you alive -- your insurance company will have to commit a criminal act if they even think of dropping you from their rolls.

Yes, my Republican friends, even though you have opposed this health care bill, we've made sure it is going to cover you, too, in your time of need. I know you're upset right now. I know you probably think that if you did get wiped out by an illness, or thrown out of your home because of a medical bankruptcy, that you would somehow pull yourself up by your bootstraps and survive. I know that's a comforting story to tell yourself, and if John Wayne were still alive I'm sure he could make that into a movie for you.

But the reality is that these health insurance companies have only one mission: To take as much money from you as they can -- and then work like demons to deny you whatever coverage and help they can should you get sick.

So, when you find yourself suddenly broadsided by a life-threatening illness someday, perhaps you'll thank those pinko-socialist, Canadian-loving Democrats and independents for what they did Sunday evening.

If it's any consolation, the thieves who run the health insurance companies will still get to deny coverage to adults with pre-existing conditions for the next four years. They'll also get to cap an individual's annual health care reimbursements for the next four years. And if they break the pre-existing ban that was passed last night, they'll only be fined $100 a day! And, the best part? The law will require all citizens who aren't poor or old to write a check to a private insurance company. It's truly a banner day for these corporations.

So don't feel too bad. We're a long way from universal health care. Over 15 million Americans will still be uncovered -- and that means about 15,000 will still lose their lives each year because they won't be able to afford to see a doctor or get an operation. But another 30,000 will live. I hope that's ok with you.

If you don't mind, we're now going to get busy trying to improve upon this bill so that all Americans are covered and so the grubby health insurance companies will be put out of business -- because when it comes to helping the sick, no one should ever be allowed to ask the question, "How much money can we save by making this poor bastard suffer?"

Please, my Republican friends, if you can, take a quiet moment away from your AM radio and cable news network this morning and be happy for your country. We're doing better. And we're doing it for you, too.

Yours,
Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
MichaelMoore.com

So I Finally Saw Avatar...

...and I'm a bit torn. On the one hand, it was a visual smorgasborg of 3-D colors, effects and beautiful imagery, but on the other, it was an extremely predictable story that had me thinking this is Pocahontas, no wait, Star Wars, no wait, Dances with Wolves, no wait...

Now, putting aside my initial opinions of the film, should this movie be heralded as an enormous success for film? Yes definitely. Any flick that rakes in $700+B is most certainly a success. There's no doubt that Alice in Wonderland would not have had a $130+M opening weekend had Avatar not opened the 3-D IMAX door. BUT, should ticket sales determine the quality of a film? The Oscars didn't think so...and nor do I.

Oscar Shows His Sensitive Side

Is it just me or is the Oscars getting a little bit overly sentimental? There are definitely times in Oscar's past that he's been a little softie (i.e. Halle Berry, Denzel Washington, 3 6 Mafia...jk) but yesterday's winners just didn't ring true. Both in choice and acceptance speeches, last night was definitely off the mark, sincerity-wise.

Jeff Bridges' performance of a down-and-almost-out country western singer turned alcoholic battling life's demons was a great one. Unfortunately, it was lost among the empty beer cans of a watch-the-paint-dry kind of film. Still, probably the most deserving of an Oscar, this swan-song opportunity for Bridges was sadly marred by a horribly long-winded acceptance speech that made it hard to feel really good about him winning. The speech began interestingly enough with parental remembrances from yesteryear, and for a second, it seemed as if it was leading us to a rare glimpse into the formation of an acting genius...but alas, no. Instead, the usual litany of thank you's and political massages followed the disjointed beginning. I guess he got caught up in the moment of his own self-congratulation.

Maybe we should have a new Oscar acceptance rule: No thanking people we (the people) have never actually heard of...oh and #2: No thanking agents unless you're sleeping with them!

Sandra Bullock (uh, hellloooo!) Talk about a Blindside! Sandra Bullock is NOT a good actress. Not unless she's really a classically trained virtuoso pianist and highborn, English duchess in disguise. She's the same in every role she's ever played (goofy, yet kinda cute, take-no-BS-everywoman.) Just because she's in a tear-jerker biopic recounting the struggle to overcome awful circumstances by an underprivileged black kid shouldn't automatically equal an Oscar nod...didn't we already have one of those this year, anyways? Yes we did, and that nicely segues into…

Mo'Nique. And I deliberately did NOT look up the correct spelling (or capitalization) of her name, because "if you're gonna give yourself a name with silly spelling, ya better get used to having people misspell it." Now, while her acceptance speech was well-delivered, I saw Precious…and to be honest, I was a little surprised at the film's inclusion with the year's best. Raw and shocking, definitely...well-composed and engaging, not so much (though it did have one of film's worst "ulgy-fications" by way of Mariah Carey as the dowdy social worker.)

I am only slightly happier at Hurt Locker's Oscar house-cleaning (as it should, fantastic film) than shocked at Stanley Tucci's loss and perplexed by the oddball behavior (which seemed more than slightly, chemically altered) of Locker's helmsman (or more appropriately, helms-woman,) Kathryn Bigelow...wow. Go easy on the pharmaceuticals, darling. I hope it was just the shock of soundly beating Avatar on [almost] all fronts that led to her bizarre demeanor and rambling, stiff-armed-bug-eyed speeches.

All in all, this year's Oscars seemed a little flat, a little too nice, a little too appropriate. Lost from the presentation was the love and majesty of film and the prize of acknowledgement for the best of the bunch by the industry's elite. This year wasn't packed with power punch performances (God, it was hard not to put plethora at the head of that alliteration) to be sure, but there's something so disagreeable about rewarding the best of a bad lot (I wonder if this is how Bank America feels every year around bonus time.)

Where Do You Lie???

This book was recommmended to me, and after some research on it, I'm genuinely excited. Has anyone else read it? If so, let me know your thoughts!